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I'm 25 and My Hair Is Falling Out (Tue, 23 Sep 2014 09:18:15 -0400)

Today I am using social media as a platform for honesty, story-telling, and bravery. Hiding this issue has only made me more insecure. Plus, this should answer any questions as to why I will be looking a little different in the next few months of this year.

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I am balding. Severely.

There. Whew!

Two weeks ago, on a late Thursday night, I took a shower. Normal shower. Typical. Did the normal routine of brushing and blowdrying my hair, but then noticed that two handfuls of hair came out on my brush. The more I brushed, the more hair came out. I checked myself into an ER. I spent hours and hours in the hospital with a doctor, therapist, different dermatologists, gynecologists, every type of "gists" you could fathom. I had every type of blood test, eye test, lady part test, everything! I had to wait. Waiting for my test results was probably one of the most terrifying things I've had to do.

My results came back normal.

"Jackie. You are exceptionally healthy. But, I have to ask you, have you been highly stressed or would you say you had or have depression?" the doc asked.

"Yes." I hesitantly replied.

"This must be new-onset Alopecia Areata." he answered.

Alopecia Areata is a hair loss condition. Its side effects can include high level stress, anxiety, and depression.

Depression. That sick son of a bitch.

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The truth is, my friends: I have had an on-going battle with severe depression since I was 19. Once my brother William died, my spirit spiraled down. Thing after thing began to happen. Toxic relationships, homelessness -- you name it, I lived it.

For six years I have fought this demon over and over again. A few of my friends know, but for the most part, this is something I've kept to myself. The closest I can describe it is: crawling into a dark hole, lying there; left alone feeling suffocated and strangled by your own thoughts and anger. Every year is different. Some better, some worse. Healing takes time, money, and honesty. I cope by spreading as much love as I know even possible. I volunteer, pray, I home in on strengthening the relationships that mean most to me, and I live an honest life. I also sing! And dance!

At the very beginning of this year, depression hit me the hardest. Without going into much graphic detail, I wasn't too enthusiastic about existing anymore. I simply had no motivation to. There was no stamina, no love nor any energy left in my soul. I went back to my therapist, whom I had been seeing for the about two years, called up a life coach, and made vital steps in turning my life around. My friends really were the ones who pulled me out of the dark. Literally having to drag me out of my bed and pushing me back into an audition room. Force feeding me. Calling me every five seconds. Giving me tough love. They saved me.

My year also turned out for the best! I immediately booked a touring contract in Singapore. Then traveling all of South East Asia, a life-changing trip to Iceland, a summer contract doing Miss Saigon, being the maid of honor at my best friend's wedding and it's not even Halloween yet! This year has been near perfection. But this hair loss thing? Whew. It hurts. It hurts me bad. Inside and out. That hole that I used to climb in? Looks quite cozy this week. It really fucking sucks, especially as an actor. We spend hours marketing ourselves merely just on our physical appearance. What the fuck am I gonna do? I never knew that my emotional state of the past few years could be so taxing on my physical body. But this is so real -- I am living proof of it.

Nine months after thinking I had overcome my depression, physically being impinged has been the most shocking and frustrating. I've never felt happier, and yet this bullshit came up to almost remind me of the turmoil I went through. The delayed reaction to my mental health reaffirmed to me that continuously working on your spirit is vital.

Yes. My hair is still falling out.

Every shower I take, I lose more and more.

Panic attacks about my career happen every other day.

Looking in the mirror hasn't been fun.

My scalp needs a break from wearing hats constantly.

This is why I'm posting this very public blog. This has only been happening for two weeks and I have lost 75 percent of my hair. At this rate, I don't know what the next week will hold.

I am going to have to start wearing wigs. In fact, I already have one ready for when the rest of it falls. I might even grow the balls to bust a Jessie J. up in dis bitch and shave it all off. Who knows? I may have to take a poll.

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No more hiding. No more shame!

Sure, I'm balding. Shitty. And the situation really fucking sucks. But sometimes, in the realm of bigger problems that I don't have, it doesn't. There is an abundance that I am incredibly thankful and happy for -- you have no idea. I have my life. God. My family. I have an on-going circle of friends who have been my backbone. My Equity card. An apartment in New York. All Harry Potter DVDs. Come on! Now, I have an opportunity to shed light on my own battle with depression. And baldness. Maybe someone, somewhere can relate and see that you're not alone.


I have complete faith in the Lord that this will make me stronger.

I will get through this.

You better believe I will.

There will be tough days.

There always are. But I am certain there will be wonderful days.

Keeping positive is obviously on the list of my priorities. Concentrating on the good.
Also, buying hats! If you know of a cute one, you betta send me a picture of it! If you've read to this point of my blog, I deeply appreciate you. Thank you for taking the time to take a look into my world for a few minutes.

And if you see me walking around the streets of New York City, yeah boo thang, das a wig.

ALSO ON HUFFPOST:

Here Is The Least Expensive Way For Men To Be Stylish (Tue, 23 Sep 2014 08:04:36 -0400)

We admit it: it's way harder for men to inject style into their daily lives than it is for women. Especially since they're stuck wearing a suit and tie five days a week.

But there is a simple AND cheap way to stay stylish, whether you're power dressing for a presentation or just hanging out on the weekend. The answer? Socks.

Instead of opting for a traditional pair of dark gray or black socks -- fingers crossed you no longer wear white tube socks anywhere but the gym -- why not embrace a little color and a whole lot of pattern?

People are rarely going to see your socks, so they can remain your little secret. But if someone is paying attention, a little bit of camo on your feet can do wonders to brighten up a three-hour board meeting.

You've Never Smelled A Bath & Body Works Perfume Like This (Tue, 23 Sep 2014 07:00:16 -0400)

When I think of Bath & Body Works, I get flashbacks of my teenage years when I would go to Northwoods Mall with my best friends.

It's been quite some time since I stepped foot inside a Bath & Body Works store. But all it took was just one whiff of the brand's Wild Madagascar Vanilla fragrance for me to fall back into their "Buy 3, Get 2 Free" grasp.

What Is It?

Wild Madagascar Vanilla sounds really exotic, and the fragrance's fancy bottle lends well to its mystique. It's made with a "high quality vanilla accord" that is the most expensive in the world. Luckily, BBW can cover the costs with all the hand sanitizers they've sold.

Master perfumer Harry Fremont blended this vanilla juice with notes of African pear, ruby apple, sheer gardenia, white sandalwood and creamy musk to create a truly unforgettable scent that covers the skin like a silky dress.

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Wild Madagascar Vanilla, $39.50, Bathandbodyworks.com


How I Wore It

Bath & Body Works scents are traditionally layered with their accompanying body creams or lotions, which tends to result in that smell-you-before-I-see-you effect. However, I decided to simply wear Wild Madagascar Vanilla for an entire weekend with this fragrance-free moisturizer.

Surprisingly, the sweet-yet-sexy scent managed to linger for hours. I got my confirmation that this wasn't all in my head while attending a movie screening on Saturday, when a guy waiting behind me at the concession stand leaned in close.

Rating: 4 out of 5. The vanilla really does last all day long, but it does require another spritz by evening to bring it back to the forefront of your senses. Just don't go overboard with the reapplication or you'll get a sugary scent rush fast!

Bath & Body Works provided a sample of Wild Madagascar Vanilla perfume for review purposes.

6 Summer Favorites That Will Look Just As Great In The Fall (Tue, 23 Sep 2014 00:00:16 -0400)

To say that we will miss summer is not only a tragic understatement, but an unnecessary reminder, as the pain of summer past is all around us. The new chill in the mornings is telling you that we will miss summer. The winding down music festivals, the ice cream truck-less streets and the suspiciously empty patio seating areas are all telling you that we will miss summer. So here we are, NOT telling you that we will miss summer.

Instead, we are celebrating Fall -- by remembering how awesome summer is! We refuse to say goodbye to all the warm weather staples (sorry, we have separation anxiety), so we've partnered here with Suave to share our favorite ways to repurpose your summer duds.

Your Favorite Sundress
dress jacket

Ok, so we are starting with an easy one. Sure, the filmy fabrics and barely-there hemlines make sundresses perfect for those long July days. But wearing them during those transitional autumn months are like squeezing the last delicious drops of juice from your morning apple-kale smoothie!

How-to: Simply throw on a short, light jacket or cute cardigan. Leave the chunky materials for the later months, and stick to denims, leathers and breathable cotton. Don’t forget a skinny belt and some cute booties!


The Ideal-For-Brown-Shoulders Maxi Dress
maxi dress
The incongruity of wearing a long dress that only begins below your armpits is not lost on us. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t one of the cutest and most comfortable summer styles. We aren’t ready to let you go, maxi!

How-to: Pair this dress with a jacket too, and keep your accessories as the focal point. Chunky necklaces, heavy bangles and more bring this piece into a more grounded, Autumn look. In addition, the maxi is a great transition piece to bring out your new cute flats.


Epic High-Waisted Shorts
high waisted shorts
Image courtesy of Elizabeth Morrow/ Delightfully Tacky

Remember in May, when you gingerly locked yourself in a dressing room and pulled on a pair of high-waisted shorts, convinced you were going to throw them to the ground in a rage of “I can’t pull this off”? Remember how great it felt when you realized they looked awesome? Remember how they STILL look awesome when you tried them on this weekend, even after a summer of drippy ice cream and corn dogs? Fashion is amazing.

How-to: Pair them with some dark and/or patterned tights, a cute flannel, and beautifully flowy hair. You are basically a picture of apple-picking perfection.


White. Jeans.
white jeans
Image courtesy of Christine Reade/xochristinemarie.blogspot.com
Oh, white jeans. The quintessential summer item. Who was so cruel as to banish you post-Labor Day? And who was the saint that saved you from 9 long months of closet-living, after finally realizing that it is ridiculous to ignore such a fantastic staple during the fall and winter months?

All that matters is that now you are back in our lives year-round. Anonymous savior, we thank thee.

How to: Pair these babies with some gorgeous fall colors, like deep reds and hunter greens. Keep the shirts loose and long, and make sure your boots are high enough to be the center of attention.


Sexy Sandals
clogs tights

Flip-flops are dandy, but let’s be honest with ourselves: They do not currently, and likely never will, have a place outside those long summer months. But that doesn’t mean all summer footwear should be tucked away during the nippier days! Clogs came back with a splash, as are strappy, wedgy, and overall beautiful sandals. Raise your hand if you think we should keep these guys around for a little longer!

How-to: Find some funky-patterned tights and go to town. Really, when it comes to wearing sandals post-August it is all about taking the plunge. However, pairing them with a short flirty skirt can do wonders!


Crop Top
crop top

Listen, we refuse to hold by the new-age mantra that everyone should wear a crop top. This has nothing to do with size -- crops can, and will, compliment any shape out there. But let’s call a spade a spade: not everyone is mentally ready for the crop top confidence. Unless you feel awesome in what you are wearing, pick a different trend and know that you are beautiful in whatever is most comfortable.

Point is, if you took the big, bold step this summer and purposefully left the bottom part of your shirt at home, bravo! You are a confidence queen, and you look fantastic. Don’t even think about putting it back in the closet yet.

How-to: Pair your top with some high-waisted pants or skirt. Consider tying a sweatshirt around your hips. Add a flirty vest and some booties for maximum Fall croppage. Strut.

5 Awesome Pinners To Help You Refine Your Upcycling Skills (Tue, 23 Sep 2014 00:00:16 -0400)

We’re all trying to save a buck. But giving up things like, say, shopping, can be challenging, even for the thriftiest among us. The good news is that there are ways to get creative on a shoestring. You can decorate your home, or yourself, in an array of fashions, totally affordably--and creatively.

We partnered with Suave to get inspiration on how where to find the best #upcycling products from Pinterest. Here’s to getting creative—and saving money!


1. Johnnie Lainer
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Lainer knows a thing or two about garnering a following; she’s got almost 79,000. She calls herself a “Craft addicted, gum chewing, running obsessed, dumpster diving, repurpose upcycle type.” Check her out to get great ideas for DIY jewelry, clothing, furniture and more (wine bottle candles=who knew?). She blogs about crafts at Saved by Love Creations.


2. Mindy Johnston
mindy johnston

It’s no wonder Johnston has 14,042 admirers. Her board is precisely curated and laden with info on food, books, crafts, and fashion ideas. Particularly cool is her “I Could Make That” board, with everything from pebble hangers to lightbulb balloon ornaments. For real.


3. Hipcycle
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Hipcycle is a Jersey City based design community dedicated to all things repurposed. Here you can find like-minded upcyclers thrilled to connect with you. If you’d rather buy their funky wares than make ‘em yourself, just go to their web site at hipcycle.com.


4. Upcycle That
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This brand claims to have “amazing ideas to repurpose and reuse.” Happily, it doesn’t disappoint. With boards about gardening, lighting, jewelry, gardening (love the cello flower pot! http://www.pinterest.com/upcyclethat/in-your-next-musical-life/), and gifts for guys (http://www.pinterest.com/pin/205899014188730744/), it offers truly original ideas.


5. Katie Nathey
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This Atlanta blogger at UpcycledTreasures.com, designer, and die-hearted DIYer will inspire you to “reimagine the old to create something new.” That means amazing wall hangings, decorative wedding items and creative uses for the Mason jar. Don’t miss it.

What These Women Love About Themselves Will Inspire You (Tue, 23 Sep 2014 00:00:16 -0400)

Exuding self-confidence is not always an easy task -- but a good way to start is by accepting your natural beauty traits. Whether it's your wavy hair or freckles, these are the things that make you stand out from the crowd. They make you YOU.

In this spirit, we partnered with Suave to ask our readers about their favorite physical features. The responses we got were incredibly encouraging. Scroll through the list below and you'll see what we mean.

Jamie: "Special features.....particularly fair skin and natural red hair. I've never met anyone with my same shade of red!"

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Elif: "The freckles on my shoulders and my tattoo!"

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Jessica: "My wavy hair"

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Celeste: "My smile"

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Karissa: "My favourite physical feature would have to be my jawline/mouth area"

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Callie: "Dimples & blue eyes. Thanks mom!"

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Shira: "My favorite feature is without question my emerald green eyes."

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Natalia: "My favorite feature or beauty trait are my freckles!!!"

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Michaela: "My favorite feature is my eyes. I am the only one in my family who has green eyes and I always thought it was strange. I was named after my uncle who died at a young age in a motorcycle accident. When I saw a picture of him, I noticed he had the same color eyes! I think it's more than a coincidence, and that made me love my eyes even more."

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@HuffPostPartner @JLeader1 my au naturale gray streak! pic.twitter.com/B21A5se6in

— Eliana Leader (@ElianaTheLeader) September 5, 2014



@HuffPostPartner @HuffPostWomen Hated but now love the scar on my nose, reminds me I fought a brain tumour & won! pic.twitter.com/iuWfPfBhCk

— KaffPix (@KaffPix) September 5, 2014



@HuffPostPartner @HuffPostWomen I love that I have my aunt's laugh pic.twitter.com/AHjv4MN9Xb

— Amanda Ramirez (@healthy_intent) September 5, 2014



@HuffPostPartner I love my smile it can ruin my enemies day and make any of my friends smile pic.twitter.com/wenzoaAbOo

— Stephanie (@SVSwanlow) September 5, 2014


LeGrand Leseur Is the Next Big Thing in Men's Fashion (Mon, 22 Sep 2014 22:05:41 -0400)

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Born in Philadelphia LeGrand Leseur went to Anna Maria college in Massachusetts to study music. He auditioned as a death metal musician, having written his song for his application. LeGrand, much like many ambitious creative artists found studying music in college totally un-inspirational. Not defeated, he used his college years as research lab for his true talent, Fashion.

By producing a Tshirt line in college that sold well and getting the thrill of selling his own designs, he knew his gift was making clothing. By only 23, Le Grand decided to attempt a men's tailoring business in Philadelphia and by contacting factories with his sketches he soon found one to beautifully produce his bespoke suits.

I found photos of Le Grand on Facebook and he intrigued me. I had to find out who was the man in the photo. He had done something I never before saw the bias colored buttonhole.

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I've been in fashion design for 50 years and never see something so simple and so new. When I saw his work I realized he had many fashion inventions such as the curved pocket and beautiful contrast colors on men's collars and cuffs to modernize suits.

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Here is what LeGrand says about being a men's couturier.

"When you design you really have to think what the client really wants. When a client comes to me for a suit we speak about what his life goals are I start sketching. It's almost like therapy. A music producer will have different goals than an investment broker so why expect them to dress the same."

This is much like couture for women, and LeGrand really touched me with this quote on "Therapy" as I've spent my 50 years in couture giving advise to women in underwear.

LeGrand says "The designs I make are for people to really stand out. I like color and I feel men's clothes have a huge lack of it." He also is against "urban street fashion" that has pants sagging lower and lower giving off the wrong impression especially to the younger generation of men.

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In one year at only 24, Le Grand has become the leading men's custom tailor in Philadelphia. His suits are not available in stores so if you want a one of a kind couture suit do contact his website Legrandleseur.com.

Watch Out America.

Vicky Tiel began designing clothes 40 years ago in Paris and still owns a boutique there. See Vicky and her new collection on HSN and online. Her couture is available at Bergdorf Goodman and Neiman Marcus, and her perfumes are carried in Perfumania. Her memoir, It's All About the Dress: What I Learned in 40 Years About Men, Women, Sex and Fashion was published by St. Martin's Press in August 2011.

12 Items To Wear On A First Date If Your Goal Is To Remain Single (Mon, 22 Sep 2014 19:28:36 -0400)

Here's some dating real talk: The conversation could be scintillating, the number of interests you share could be phenomenal, but if your date decided to slip on some bright orange Crocs to meet you, the sparks are never going to fly. Love is blind, but not completely blind.

On Monday, Redditors shared the clothing choices that instantly turn them off. Read some of the worst offenders below.



Keep in touch! Check out HuffPost Divorce on Facebook and Twitter. Sign up for our newsletter here.

Kris And Bruce Jenner File For Divorce After Living Apart For More Than A Year (Mon, 22 Sep 2014 18:44:14 -0400)

It looks like it's really over for Kris and Bruce Jenner, as the 58-year-old momager finally filed for divorce after the pair separated more than a year ago.

TMZ reports that the divorce is "totally amicable," and no lawyers have been involved. Sources told the website that everything has been worked out with their business managers, and since the couple reportedly married without a prenup, they've agreed to split their property. Neither is seeking spousal support.

RadarOnline claims to have obtained the divorce filing, and notes that Kris lists "irreconcilable differences" as the reason for the split. Additionally, Kris has asked for joint physical and legal custody of their 17-year-old daughter, Kylie, and made requests to keep her own jewelry.

Request for comment made to the Jenners' rep has not been returned at this time.





Fashion And Ballet Go So Well Together, And We Have The Sketches To Prove It (Mon, 22 Sep 2014 18:26:35 -0400)

Few things excite us more than when two of our greatest passions collide, so this season's fashion-filled New York City Ballet Gala is giving us many reasons to leap from our seats.

Fashion heavyweights including Carolina Herrera, Sarah Burton for Alexander McQueen, Thom Browne and Mary Katrantzou collaborated with New York City Ballet's Costume Shop on sartorial sensations for four ballets, and we got a behind-the-scenes look.

As one might expect, the designers stayed true to their respective aesthetics when approaching ballet costume design. Herrera designed exquisite female costumes that are the picture of elegance, while Browne created suiting designs that are crisp and tailored. Leave it to Burton to bring the drama with a heavy black and gold gown reminiscent of a red carpet look, and Katrantzou to design an airy, colorful creation filled with pattern.

While all the ballets featuring fashion designer costumers will debut at the Fall Gala on Tuesday, September 23, New York City audiences will have the opportunity to see the designs in action again on October 2 at 7:30 p.m.; October 7 at 7:30 p.m.; October 9 at 7:30 p.m.; and October 11 at 8 p.m.

Check out images from the costume shop and sketches from the design houses in the photos below.

Adam Driver's Yearbook Photos Preview Total Stardom (Mon, 22 Sep 2014 17:03:35 -0400)

May we present yet another edition of Awesome Celebrity Yearbook Photos, this time featuring Adam Driver.

Brian Doty, one of Driver's former classmates, tweeted photos of the "Girls" star from the Beiger Junior High and Mishawaka High School in Mishawaka, Indiana yearbooks. As a response to Kevin Lincoln's Grantland article on Driver, Doty wrote, "Can you spot him in my junior-high yearbook?"

"I remember him well from school," Doty told HuffPost Entertainment in an email. "I was never in any drama classes with him, but I did take a few art classes with him, and wouldn't you know it ... he was/ is an amazing artist. (I wonder what a high school drawing might be worth in five-10 years ...)"







UPDATE: Doty sent HuffPost Entertainment more photos from Driver's high school days, taken between 1998 and 2001. Enjoy.

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adam driver

adam driver

adam driver

Julianne Moore Perfectly Sums Up Everyone's Feelings On Juice Cleanses (Mon, 22 Sep 2014 15:54:36 -0400)

As if you needed another reason to skip that juice cleanse you've been pressured into trying, Julianne Moore just gave you one.

The gorgeous actress is NewBeauty's fall/winter 2014 cover star. Inside the mag, she admits the one thing she just can't behind: a liquid diet. "I did a juice cleanse for the Golden Globes one year. I think I did it for three days. To be honest, the only weight I lost was in my brain," she told the glossy.

newbeauty

So we know she prefers solid foods, but what are her secrets to always looking so great? A combination of yoga -- "I do better when I am working out in quiet," she said -- and lots of sunscreen. "I was lucky enough to have a very fair-skinned mother who instilled in me the importance of sunscreen. We wouldn’t go to the beach until after 3 p.m., and we would do things like walk on the shady side of the street to avoid the sun. People are so much more careful now, but back then it was rather unusual," she told NewBeauty.

jmoore

Check out the entire interview in NewBeauty magazine, which hits newsstands Sept 23.

Katherine Heigl Dons A Bikini, Parties With Friends At The Beach (Mon, 22 Sep 2014 15:46:55 -0400)

The rest of us may be settling into fall, but for Katherine Heigl, summer is still in full swing.

The actress took to Instagram on Sunday to share a snap of herself enjoying a day in the sun with three friends.



"Love love love! @cheyenneellis @tawnylehman @irritated_one," she captioned the photo.

The beach trip appeared to be a relaxing break for Heigl, who has been busy filming her upcoming TV show "State of Affairs." In the series, Heigl plays a CIA analyst who works with the president on international security. Catch the premiere on Nov. 17 on NBC.


Miss America Was Kicked Out Of Her Sorority For Hazing: Jezebel (Mon, 22 Sep 2014 15:17:46 -0400)

On paper, Miss America 2015 Kira Kazantsev reads like a forward-thinking person's dream of what a beauty queen could be. She's a trilingual honors student who's publicly passionate about women's health and down to clown with Jimmy Kimmel; she's got a squeaky-clean image and a squeaky-clean resume. But it's missing one unflattering detail.

In late April 2013, Jezebel has learned, Kazantsev and a friend were both kicked out of the Alpha Phi sorority at Hofstra University on Long Island after hazing pledges. At the time, Kazantsev was serving as the sorority's head of recruitment.

Designer Cynthia Rowley Thinks There's 'Never Been A Better Time' To Start A Fashion Line (Mon, 22 Sep 2014 14:38:20 -0400)

Few career paths carry as much risk as being a fashion designer, but thanks to the growing e-commerce landscape, women's wear designer Cynthia Rowley thinks today's age is ripe with opportunity.

"Fashion as an industry has changed so much since I started," she told HuffPost Live's Caroline Modarressy-Tehrani in an interview on Friday. "Just to be able to sell online at this time is a crazy thing. At this time, there has never been a better time to start a business or make clothes. It's virtually risk-free."

The digital marketplace offers plenty of outlets for designers to sell their goods, Rowley explained, making success more attainable.

"You can make something. you can put it out there and you'll have a conversation, and you can tell your story and start something," she said. "I mean, it's never been easier, and that didn't exist when I started."

Watch the rest of Cynthia Rowley's conversation with HuffPost Live here.

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